Assessing the territory

*YAWN*


How long was I asleep? What, really? Whoa, that was unexpected. Funny, when all the little components of life come together you can really lose track of time.

So, you should have already read Conquistador’s explanation of our lapse, and a bit about what has been going on since then, so I’ll not reiterate what has already been duly expressed, (if you missed it: look down). Here I am, returned to the precipice (soapbox?) of my grand mountain, prepared to once again spin tales of our digital heroics, tabletop tomfoolery, and maybe even comical highjinks (more on that later). Woe to the conquered and praises to our fellows in the Kingdom of Gaming.

Lately I’ve been possessed to return to formerly forgotten realms (including, appropriately, THE Forgotten Realms) to make good on oaths from ancient days. I am referring, of course, to my Old-School Gaming Binge™. I have recently spend time in the lands of Secret of Mana, Champions of Norrath, Baldur’s Gate, even Magical Quest 2, to name just a few, and there is no end in sight for my relapse. In fact, I am currently working to procure a certain ‘Ultima Collection’ so that I can do something I could only dream of in my formative years: rule over Britannia! Certainly no magical draught is necessary to ease these symptoms (unless there is one to give me more gaming time), only an investment of spirit I am willing to pay. I feel sorry for the next skeleton to cross my path.


Jump for more

But lo, the new horizon is far from desolate. Brütal Legend promises to slake my unending appetite for heavy metal music, comedy and games by Tim Schafer. Jack Black has a way of finding my funny bone in musical endeavors, so I will assume that said game will be as far from Shallow Hal as I can ever hope. Perhaps some part of Black’s soul will even be redeemed from that sorry excretion by his involvement in a game that seems to be tailored from my waking dreams.

Alpha Protocol’s delay has hurt me in a deep way. I was actually ready to run to the local gaming emporium despite the horrific, probably-aberrant-creature-induced pain my back is currently experiencing and the emptiness of my royal coffers so that I could BUY THAT GAME. Then, like an arrow through my bleeding heart, the cry of “DELAY!” came to mine ears. “Remiss!” I cried, but with any hope this will serve to make this game the bundle of pure espionage joy that I pray to the gaming gods it shall be.

Let us discuss Borderlands. I have been excited about this game from momento uno. Diablo-meets-Fallout-meets-Shadow-of-the-Colossus-meets-some-FPS-I-can’t-think-of. Wow, another game culled directly from mind imagination! I was pretty bummed about the change to cel-shading or whatever they are going to call it at first, but in all honesty that won’t ruin the game and the new screens I’ve seen have worked to assuage my fears. Now let’s all blow up giant space creatures with randomly generated firearms!

I can’t lie; Dungeon Fighter Online is addicting, as an MMO should be I suppose. Conquistador has (as usual) convinced me to try a game I would otherwise never be exposed to/have cared about without the recommendation from my long-time friend (Katamari Damacy is another item of that list). DFO is amongst the pinnacle of 2D beat-‘em-up gameplay. For a man that has absorbed games like Double Dragon, King of Dragons and every likewise arcade-style classic, this game comes dangerously close to “new lifestyle.” There are minor issues, particularly with certain characters, but I always play my favorite in these games, anyways. An Incredible Hulk-sized priest who can heal the party and throw oak tree-sized minotaurs into crowds of baddies for huge damage? Beware Johab, the Fist of God!

On the tabletop, few things have possessed me as much as Dungeons & Dragons, 4th edition. Let me start by saying, if you are a stalwart prior-edition enthusiast, I say stick with it. D&D editions are options, not limitations. I know plenty of 2E’ers who just make up their own content. Live in peace with those of other editions. Nay-sayers waste a lot of energy and do a lot of damage to the tabletop community. We need all the strong arms we can muster to keep these pen-and-paper RPGs alive. Tread not on thine fellows’ feet.

4E is my first foray into deep tabletop RPG territory. Always the casual fan and observer, I have plunged full-force into this newest edition of the Classic Game. I am currently DMing multiple campaigns and playing in a few, with no sign of slowing down. I love the sheer open-endedness of everything. Having players and DMs who can adjust on the fly and make things unique is a fantastic gift, and I always walk away wanting to see what comes next, whether I’m running the campaign or playing in it. Give 4E a chance, and remember that the game is YOUR game. There are no programmer-controlled limitations on your imagination.

Finally, I’d like to take the time to hint at a project that is currently being worked on in my noble keep. The Friends and Family of the 5th are busy preparing a comic that will alternating between being funny, bloody and unexpected, often at the same time. I don’t want to say a lot right now, but the premise is at once classic and unique, and we have molded the world to be a very interesting place. Wish us luck.
A toast to long-awaited returns!