L00t!

It's what makes the world go round.  In games, of course.

Loot provides the satisfaction of a job well done in many games, especially when the underlying goal (i.e. your job) is to make it all the way through the adventure structure the programmer has provided for you.  If the reward is at the end of the entire game, all but the most fervent of players will simply stay away (Battletoads, you damn bastard!), but if you drip-feed your players rewards, i.e. loot, each new piece will be positive reinforcement to get the next.  Games without loot are forced to use satisfying gameplay to keep the attention of their players, which works for, say, Tetris, but tends to restrict the appeal of games whose gameplay lacks that universal approachability, such as the side-scrolling beat-'em-ups we do so love around here.  Providing the right loot is what makes games like Diablo 2 and World of Warcraft such successes, while failing to provide a good loot balance can hurt similarly-constructed and arguably better-looking games like Titan Quest and the X-Men Legends/Ultimate Alliance series.

If you get loot right, you win.

So what the hell are you supposed to do when you have 4 or more people playing cooperatively to distribute loot evenly?  I mean seriously, god damn it, I am tired of bickering over loot.  So fucking tired.  I don't mean that the other players deny me the powerful items I need to stay in the game, 'cause if that shit happened, I would have to start burying some bodies.  No, I'm referring to the less objectionable stuff that goes on in coop kill 'n loot games.  Stuff like:

1. One person grabbing everything they can (distributing the good stuff) and then announcing that we should return to town when their inventory fills. (Has happened to me in almost every D2 party.  I've actually done this several times)
   
2. The game not allowing the redistribution of gold when one person needs an item from the store and no one has enough money to buy it separately, even if they do all together. (Fucking Champions, you great game you)
   
3. Clicking on the rewards as fast as possible, so us discerning types can't see what's on the ground. ("So what dropped" "I don't know, let me pause the game and interrupt the action" "Goddammit")
   
4. Saying "oh hey, I picked this thing up that's supposed to be yours, want it?"  (Dude, leave it on the ground)
5. One person bitching about this shit all the time (I'm looking at you, me)
6. Forgetting to share, such as with crafting items ("dude, all I need is one topaz" "no but then I will have to give you one topaz") or with new awesome equipment ("Awesome I got new better armor" "what happened to your old one that I needed" "Oh, uh, I sold it" "!%@#$%@")

You can't blame your friends for acting this way, because we're all in it for the instant gratification.  However, there's no good way to talk about it constructively, because it makes you sound like a whiny asshole who demands too much.  Left without a way to blame my friends, I must, of course, project my anger onto the developers.  Damn you devs!

This dude is angry at someone.  Probably you.

I can't use simple solutions, like "maturity", or "just letting it go", because we're all essentially competing over rewards even if we honestly don't want to hoard them.  The obtaining of loot is the reason why all of us are here, and if we hit the point where we no longer care about obtaining it, then we no longer really care about playing the game.  What to do, then?

First of all, parties should get group loot bins, with enough storage space as the party has left, collectively.  This way, everything you pick up goes in the loot bin and y'all can take time to decide what each member should take as a group, instead of as individuals grasping at straws.  I'm sure there's a smart way to program it so that the good shit gets highlighted, such that each person can see what they would like and talk while everyone has their say.  Second, implement gold trading, seriously.  Third, highlight armor pieces in your inventory that are "better" than what your friends are carrying; I shouldn't have to announce my armor class to everyone just to make sure I get what I need.  Finally, this is all stuff that should be implemented for playing with friends.  With people you don't know, the tried and true "loot roll" system works just fine, but amongst friends, you really need systems that compensate for the fact that you're all adults that happen to like each other.  If you're all mature enough to opt in to a group loot system, then this will work fine for you.

Meanwhile, if you're playing Champions of Norrath on the PS2, just let it go, Conquistador.  Seriously.

:SñrC
Image credit: the Kansas City Pitch