It's not normal anger, it's ANGERGY!

I am still in a state of awe. No, not over Starbuck’s announced price jacking (by the way, to a good number of Americans 9 cents a cup equals $32.85 annually, and for programmers it’s $1,642.50 a year), and it certainly isn’t concerning Michael Vick being ordered not to attend NFL camp (I hate baseball anyway). No my friends, my unbridled shock is over what might be the worst crime ever committed on our fair populace; the price of Guitar Hero Encore: Rocks the 80’s.

Now, I’ve felt shafted (raped, really) by the gaming industry before, but this takes the pie! 50 GODDAMN DOLLARS U.S.! How fucking stupid do they know we are? Last time I checked, $50 takes me approximately 97.4 hours of labor to earn at my current wage (which is $squat, by the way). Granted I have paid $50 for games far worse than Encore, but it’s the unmitigated gall that RedOctane has to charge this much more for half a game. Seriously, Guitar Hero was $50 (without guitar, of course, not like anyone in their right mind bought it that way. It would be like a man with no arms buying porn), and you got the same amount of regular songs, plus bonus songs, a full cast of characters and unlockables. GH2 raised the bar with even more songs and bonus. And now they want us to pay the same price for a few songs from an era most of us want to forget? JEEZ!

Don’t get me wrong, I like the set list okay. Hopefully they didn’t ruin this Iron Maiden song, and Anthrax being back is a major plus. And Heat of the Moment will provide some great moments in Eric Cartman Impersonation History. But seriously, we are talking $1.666 (note the number? THOSE SATANISTS!) a damn song! What do they think this is, Xbox Live? I was pissed enough at the downloading cost for the 360 version, but I figured it was a confined incident, like a bad joke on people who don’t own the original. But I was wrong! This has spread into an epidemic! A modern bubonic plague!

At first this mockery of Rockdom was considered an “expansion.” Sure, a little steep at $40 (though I swear the first announced price was $30) but not too bad if they had included a little ‘sugar’ (say, some bonus songs?) to the mix. Of course, they had to take my dreams and kick them down a flight of stairs at the Reality Sucks Building. They want this to be a stand-alone game? GREAT! So give us as much content as the other STAND ALONE GAMES in the series. The singer is still wearing the same jersey shirt of Christ’s sake! Can you imagine how that thing must smell? And our characters get, what, some spandex and boas? Whupdee-fuckin’-do.

And just guess what the worst thing about all this is? WE ARE GOING TO BUY THE PIECE OF SHIT! That’s right, every last one of us will show what idiots we are and buy the damn thing. Why, you ask? Because it’s GUITAR HERO! Like there was ever a question. God I hate them. If they were not complete bastards they would have at least given us the extra songs from the 360, but NOOOO. Then we wouldn’t buy THAT, now would we? Fascists.

In other news that pisses me off, Hellgate: London and it’s “paying monthly makes you better” system. Boy, isn’t that something? It’s not an MMO. It’s a regular game. You just get, you know, MORE if you KEEP PAYING! What a novel concept; the AMMO; Almost Massively Multiplayer Online game. Shit, I hope someone contacts me to the rights for that acronym. Maybe then I could afford to actually become Elite.

Now I’ve started considering ways to make some extra cash for games. I mean, my non-vital internal organs are limited, and I hear the sperm bank only pays you when someone uses your sample, so I’ve got it down to a couple options. I could become a notorious train robber, or get a real job. Since banditting is so 1800’s, I guess the latter, though decidedly less exciting, option is best. Shit.

Oh well. I guess it was bound to happen at some point. Too bad it was while I was still so young. Another wasted life. At least I’ll be able to keep up the habit this way. Maybe that PS3 isn’t so far away.

*UPDATE* There is still justice in this world! While finishing this post, I was given a small bit of salvation. A certain major retailer that I won’t name, but whose primary colors are blue and yellow, are offering a special on Guitar Hero Encore. That’s right, they must of heard all my bitching, because they are offering free shipping, a wristband (hurray, I guess?) a $15 gift card, and best of all… the $40 price tag! Now I don’t like to support this unnamed company, and this certainly doesn’t bode too well for the “little guys”(little, yeah right) in the video game retail market, but I am a shameless prick with no morals, so I took full advantage of this opportunity. Besides, I’m broke. And since my order is already in, I give you all permission to exploit this offer. Come on, we deserve to be corporate whores every once and a while.

“Why don't you listen to me when I try to talk to you
Stop thinking of yourself, for just a second fool
Shut up, shut up, I don't wanna hear your mouth
Your mother made a monster, now get the hell out of my house”
-Anthrax, “Caught in a Mosh”